Through My Eyes

May 22, 2006

Funtasia

Filed under: Life — by Jasmine @ 2:25 pm

It’s been a good week, and I’ve been deliberately tearing my eyes off my tutorial questions to take breaks, relax, play free cell and spider solitaire. Heh.

We had Funtasia last Saturday, a fun fair in conjunction with College Day, where each class had to set up a stall to raise funds for the college. Our ice-blended coffee sold really well, despite, no publicity, minimal decorations, and extremely slow production, since one of our blenders decided not to work at the last minute.(Wasn’t meant to crush ice anyway.) Everyone worked frantically to meet the demands….Ying Xuan tearing Nescafe sachets non-stop, Shree and Guan Hoe at the blenders, and the rest refilling water, adding chocolate chips, scooping ice, setting out the cups, and wiping the mess. At the counter Becky and Wan Ling took orders and collected coupons, while Shin Yen and I sprayed whipped cream and added straws before handing out the final product. Phew.

Our class is not bad actually…all the time spent perfecting the recipe before this….selling coffee during lunch break to raise funds…and of course, being tasters and drinking up all the rejects (yay!)…I will remember. We’ve warmed up a lot compared to the start of term, when everyone felt miserable being thrown into new classes. B

ut all the revenue will go to the school. And it’s revenue, not profit. It’s ok if the school takes all the profit, but taking our total revenue means we’ve to cover the cost ourselves! The more we sell the more we have to pay. And yet when stocks run out people keep forking out money to buy more ingredients. I cannot understand. =)

Oh and we just got a new set of physics notes, on Waves, done by Mr. Koh. The moment I got his notes I immediately flipped through and read all the “extras”…and this time he dropped his address inside. He’s been absent this week due to treatments again…=(…but sometimes I suspect that it is precisely because of the pain he went through and is going through, that he is such an awesome person. When I see him, I see someone bigger inside. It’s something hard to describe with words.

*Unable to continue writing because I’m lost in thoughts*

Maybe I should go and start my market failure essay.

May 18, 2006

Good luck surviving

Filed under: Life — by Jasmine @ 8:10 am

That’s the three words my grand seniors left me with when they came to collect their results. Heh.

[By the way I’m alright already.]

These four months I’ve been counting on the slightest hope that I’ll get to go back if I don’t like Singapore.  But now it looks like…I’m here to stay. Not like I’m really forced to, but I guess I should. (Yeah, I didn’t get the JPA scholarship.)

It means I’ll have to do my 1000 word econs essay on market failure after all.

It means I’ll have to do the numerous SPAs…the first one this week.

It means I’ll have to do PROJECT WORK.  (sense my utter dislike? =P)

And lots more stuff.

But…I think I have a few things to learn here. No better place to learn how to deal with stress, I guess. Heh. And not just stress, but also my insecurities, fear, and pride.

I need humility to acknowledge that others are better—not just “See? I told you I’m no good. I already knew it.” but “ I will still use my talents to the best of my abilities and rejoice when I see someone better although it is somewhat painful.”

I need to learn to find balance…and not waiver between perfectionism and escapism like a yo-yo. Coz when I switch to escapism mode I become terrible. The challenges become giant mountains and I plunge into despair. I panic, and then I tell myself to accept defeat and give up trying. Not just in the academic sense…but in every aspect.

And I will have to trust God with my future.

Yeah…Singapore’s alright. After all….it’s 3 weeks to the June hols! We will surely survive.=D

Sigh, self deception.

May 10, 2006

What happened?

Filed under: Life — by Jasmine @ 5:15 pm
 I have been feeling dead for the past six days, refusing to do anything related to school work. I skipped school on Monday, skipped debate on Tuesday, slept/stoned during lectures and tutorials, and slept the whole time I was in my room. This terrible sense of dread just overwhelmed me and i felt totally defeated.
* * *
Yesterday morning, i actually woke up and read my bible (have not done so for 5  days)! Then I went back to sleep =) and woke up at 7.10a.m. I dragged myself to school, complained loudly about life to my roommates (who are also half-dead), and slept through tutorials again. We had double period of Project Work. Our whole group sat lifelessly around the mushroom tables and stared at our hospice project which had just been rejected. I skipped debate training, walked back almost lifelessly……and then……..miraculously i started doing work!! And I cleaned up all the flowers and ladybirds that I planted on my lecture notes while stoning. =) Gosh, I’m finally coming alive. i don’t know what happened.
* * *
Today we had a Chemistry mock SPA (Science Practical Assessment). I seriously screwed up coz I was too lazy to read the instructions for the titration. Firstly I pipetted the wrong solution into the conical flask, and then I poured the KMnO4 into the burette until it overflowed and spilt unto my skirt and the floor. There were purple footprints on the floor after that.  I went on to spill all my other chemicals, but the worst thing was that I didn’t even know what colour change to look out for! Instead of waiting for the solution to turn light pink, I stopped when it became pale green. That’s like, not even halfway to the end point! But I decided to give up, and use Ying Xuan’s data for calculations instead. Whee. Then I made Ribena with the remaining KMnO4.
* * *
Tomorrow I’m going to KL for the long weekend….and I’m going to have to skip 3 classes to catch my bus. I still don’t know how to wriggle out of that.
Oh oh…JPA results out tomorrow! One of these 4 things might happen:
1. I get JPA and go for it.
2. I get JPA and reject it and remain stuck in Singapore.
3. I don’t get JPA and remain stuck in Singapore.
4. I don’t get JPA and decide to go back for form 6.
How?

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