Random happenings

(Posting all the stuff  I wrote but didn’t get to post)

 

I told them I didn’t want to take part in the upcoming debate. Now they lack a member and might not be able to take part. But they didn’t try to coax me. I’m glad they respected my decision. I’m learning to say no. And really, it’s so much better than trying to please everyone.   

Stayed over at Ashley’s place on Saturday with Merryn! Dad applied hostel leave for me without even asking. It’s the first time I’ve stayed over at any friend’s house. Went shopping and watched Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants before falling asleep. I couldn’t wake up to watch the Germany match though. Haha. But that’s not important. The important thing to me is to get to know my sisters in Christ better. Yes. Friendships need investment.

 

Sometimes I still get lonely attacks. Especially on bus journeys back to the hostel. Or when my Filipino friends launch into Tagalog and I have to keep reminding them to ‘switch to channel 5”, their English channel. It’s not a nice feeling. But I’m already getting better at dealing with these emotions. And anyway they are great, warm people! I like how they call each other ate (sister) and kuya (brother).   

Went to an old folk’s home last week. I’ve never been to one, it was my first time. The old people really blessed me. Some were just so full of joy! Of course some were cynical and gloomy but I think we cheered them up. Will be inviting them to school on community service day. Really glad I had favour in arranging things.

Finally watched The Constant Gardener, Hotel Rwanda, and Crash. Yingxu’s DVDs. Good movies.

Going to interview someone for PW tomorrow with Jing Ying. Secured the interview within a day! More favour. So thankful. Hope it goes OK.  

Have dance practices on Sunday now. Makes me happy happy!

  

Passing thought: my CV will look quite bad at the end of 2 years if I don’t take part in anything else except 1 CCA. Seriously. But is there any point in going for things I don’t like just for the certificate? I can’t tell right now. I don’t know.

A roomie’s gift

You know my roommate Yingxu? She bought me a strawberry smoothie today because I got an A for math. That’s right, because I got an A for math! She rejoiced with me even though she got a D.  I have never known how to do such a thing for anyone, and I can’t remember anyone doing that for me. It is such a warm feeling, and I am really blessed. (But please don’t get the idea that she’s sweet because she’s not. Haha. She doesn’t read this anyway. Oh don’t get the idea that I did very well for everything either.)

 
Yeah, I’m so glad and thankful I got an A…just to give you an idea, almost half the cohort failed it. Not that the paper is insanely difficult (an unintelligent person can do well by hard work, brute force), it’s just that we don’t have tuition and we don’t practice a lot in Singapore, and most people don’t really grasp what they learn because they’re too busy with ccas or they just don’t care. Different from Malaysia, I think.

 
Actually I find Yingxu very interesting and amusing. There is something I really admire about that brilliant girl—my personal physics tutor—something I seldom see in the average student. No, she is not diligent, which is of course, not a good thing, as her results will attest. But she tries to understand concepts thoroughly and appreciates what she learns. And she has a passion for learning and discovering new things that commands my total respect! That is the whole point of education, isn’t it.

 
Sometimes we’d be walking and she’ll suddenly smile her smile and say, “I discovered that lizards can cling to the wall because of Van der waals forces! Interesting right?” And I wouldn’t know how to respond, because to me, it’s just another new fact I’d forget very soon.

 
At other times I’d catch her listening to a particular song over and over again, and she’ll tell me music is heavenly. And she makes special effort to befriend the guards, the cleaners, and the chefs!

 
Yesterday she told me she wants to read sun zi bing fa! *sweat* But really, she knows how to enjoy life. And it’s not merely in a hedonistic way. I still haven’t figured out why she’s like that. Must learn a bit from her, hehe.

 
[Maybe I’m already influenced. Learning not to be unnecessarily stressed. I realize that when we get under pressure we are choosing to let people or things put us under pressure. We can’t totally blame other people for our stress.]

 
“Work hard for the promo exams and if your name goes up on the A list I’ll belanja you again,” she said with a twinkle in her eye as we reached our hall and tossed our plastic cups into the rubbish bin.

 
The next time someone achieves something? I’ll know what to do. I’ll gladly pass Yingxu’s gift on.

(06.07.06)

God Speaks

Many people have told me that faith, is, well, just faith. An idea. A belief. Something you can hold on to live better perhaps, but not necessarily true. Not essential in any case.  Well, I can see where they’re coming from. At some points, I even feel that they are partially correct, although I don’t think they are correct. =D

But I know that my faith is not an empty faith because God speaks! He speaks through the bible, through other people that you do or do not know, or sometimes, He just speaks to your heart. Then there are times when I receive prophecies that speak directly into my situation, and I know beyond doubt that those words can only come from my Father. God loves me and cares for me so much. He knows every detail of my life and he has great plans for my future. It is not imagination, not fiction, and certainly not mysticism. Well, sometimes it’s hard to discern whether it’s God or just me deceiving myself. Sometimes it’s even as if I hear nothing from him for a long time. But God is for real. And He is good! 

Anyway, what Ps. Manni shared last week struck me as a wonderful truth—God wants to communicate with all of his children. He has no intention of letting his flock grapple in the dark, but is always there to shepherd over us. Sometimes, we’re just too caught up with things that we forget to be still and listen. Or maybe, blinded by troubles, we reject him and push him away.

 
But even when we can’t feel him, God never turns away from us.

 
Rev 3:20

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

So today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts. His voice is proof of his existence, and beyond that, it’s proof of his unfailing love for his people.