当我老了

在伟良的部落格上看到这篇文章, 又在Eric的部落格上看到马来西亚国家石油公司的一个马来新年广告, 让我也想说一说自己的感想.

这一次回来,让我最难受的就是看见我的祖父祖母,外公外婆都明显地老了许多. 那天陪爸爸去探望他们, 发现祖父作生意再也没有以前的干劲, 而且,我们在那儿坐了没多久,他就做在沙发上睡着了. 公公也一样,上一回跌倒之后,他就不能再像以前, 整天骑脚踏车帮我们买水果.

其实他买不买水果都没关系. 只是我看他常时间坐在椅子上发呆,不知他在想什么.记得有一次我看到报纸说,老人每天可通过猜谜游戏等等训练头脑,才不易患上痴呆症,结果我就拿了一个Sudoku问公公要不要玩,他说他不要.

我知道,人会老. 我常都会问爸爸,你老了会变成怎样.哈哈.

我婆婆和我之间的代沟似乎已越来越大.才发现原来要照顾老人的心灵需求是不容易的.批评不孝的人就容易许多.昨天我在学切黄梨:

婆婆:(福建话) 喂,你以后要教你的孩子最重要的东西是什么?

我: (想逃跑) 哈哈…嗯…不知道

婆婆: 这样的东西哪里可以不知道! 第一件事,你一定要教你的孩子认上帝! 然后,要教他们如何做一个负责任的人.人活在这个世界上,就一定有责任.孩子不懂得负责任,以后就是没有用的人. 然后,你还要培养他们成为有道德有性格的人,这是很重要的. 要跟他们培养感情,不要一整天只是顾着他们的成绩.当然,你还要教他们游泳啦,爬树啦这些技巧…

我: 啊…知道了知道了知道了..婆!我的黄梨很丑!

婆婆: (见到走形的黄梨,大吃一惊) lu an chua chiet ong lai eh!

过了几分钟..

婆婆: 喂,还没有给我答案,你以后要教你的孩子怎样?

我: (为什么死不放过我.)

我就是很不喜欢听她讲道理.一天到晚讲不停! 婆婆也知道,她常说,我现在不爱跟她讲话了.唉.

所以我还是要耐心学和她谈天,让她高兴. 如果这么简单的事都不能做,以后怎样侍奉父母?

最近公公决定明年要到吉隆坡过新年,家里就闹了起来.我爸新年要作生意,是不可能离开亚罗士打的.阿姨呢,也已经买好飞机票,要回来我们家过年.其实十多年来都是在我们家吃团圆饭,可是公公很执着,明年一定要下吉隆坡.结果一些人就不高兴.

阿姨就发短信给妈:
I can forfeit my air ticket, it’s okay. Dad is old already, he will not spend many CNY with us. If he wants to come to KL, then we will have CNY in KL.We should honour his decision instead of just thinking of our own convenience.

这就是为什么我那么爱戴我阿姨.

The sparkling eyes.

I helped teach mum’s kids again today. =) As a year end activity they had a little drama competition, you know, the Ali Baba story. We had a lot of fun! Because they were sporting and enthusiastic. The two Ali Babas wore turbans and we drew moustaches for both Kassims. I laughed so much. We also did balloon modeling to create swords for the robbers. Well, 11 year old guys love killing each other with swords.

And so this is Ali Baba from the team I helped, waiting to discover the secret treasure. Class clown and my favourite kid. =)
Then, I taught them to play 7up and Whacko–they have never played Whacko (!)–and another “drop the key” game. In that game you’re supposed to put your hand on your friend’s shoulder to form a train. And then I realized that the guys were too shy to put their hand on a girl’s shoulder. Someone suggested that the guys hold on to the girls’ ponytails instead, if they have one.
Ahh. I have forgotten what it’s like to be 11 or 12 years old. Tonight some memories of acute shyness came back.
Actually, I don’t think teaching kids is all that fun. You either lose your voice or lose control of the class. Or, if you’re like Snape, you lose the love of your students.
But once in a while, it’s delightful. Just once in a while, if you are the average person without the patience to teach rascals.=)

On bribing and my V/S intelligence

Today, I came to a sad conclusion. My visual/spatial intelligence (according to Gardner’s multiple intelligence theory) is very, very low.

I’m terrible at chess, that’s one. I can’t see the big picture of anything. And today, I failed my jalan raya driving 5 mintutes after I started the car. ^_^
Because.I couldn’t remember whether to turn right or left.I ended up turning into the right lane on the left, was immediately asked to stop because of “dangerous driving”, and miserably failed. ( I don’t think my skill is that poor since I passed the bukit and parking components.)
Why can’t I remember directions? My mum even took the trouble to draw out the map for me and drive me around the area several times to help me remember the 4 tested roads. And at the very first junction, I faltered. I am getting more and more embarrassed as I recall it.
Or maybe the big burly officer with shades scared me and I panicked. (I am resigned to the fact that I am a very timid person. Seriously. It’s just weird how I can feel comfortable on stage.)

And then, when I registered for the retake…

Driving Instructor 1: See! I told you to bribe! Now susah lah, you have to take exam again.

Driving Instructor 2: Aiya, why you don’t want to bribe? If you bribe, can pass one lah!

Let me first clarify that I don’t think a bribe could have saved me today. My mistakes were simply too atrocious. But I understand that giving a bribe is a rather attractive and convenient option for a lot of people, especially those who are not confident of passing, like me. It seems quite harmless anyway, and saves you the trouble of retaking the exam. Still, I would encourage you not to bribe because:

1. It is morally wrong.
2. When you bribe, you corrupt the JPJ officers, the whole driving test system, and you contribute to corruption in Malaysia, which is the very thing you condemn, is it not? If you bribe, I don’t think you are in a position to complain about MPs who siphon money into their own pockets (and build their illegal palaces). They’re just corrupt on a bigger scale.
3. You plant the seeds of corruption in your own life. I’m not saying that everyone who bribes in a driving exam will go on to bribe their way through bigger things–a lot of people know how to draw the line. My friends tell me that it is acceptable to copy in a small test but despicable to cheat in a major exam. To me, both are wrong, but my point is: they have a conscience and know where to stop. However, every action we take either weakens or strengthens our conscience. It is wise to discipline ourselves to do the right thing.

Meanwhile, I desperately need to develop a sense of direction, or else I won’t be able to drive even if I pass the exam on 4th December. Sob.