That’s the three words my grand seniors left me with when they came to collect their results. Heh.

[By the way I’m alright already.]

These four months I’ve been counting on the slightest hope that I’ll get to go back if I don’t like Singapore.  But now it looks like…I’m here to stay. Not like I’m really forced to, but I guess I should. (Yeah, I didn’t get the JPA scholarship.)

It means I’ll have to do my 1000 word econs essay on market failure after all.

It means I’ll have to do the numerous SPAs…the first one this week.

It means I’ll have to do PROJECT WORK.  (sense my utter dislike? =P)

And lots more stuff.

But…I think I have a few things to learn here. No better place to learn how to deal with stress, I guess. Heh. And not just stress, but also my insecurities, fear, and pride.

I need humility to acknowledge that others are better—not just “See? I told you I’m no good. I already knew it.” but “ I will still use my talents to the best of my abilities and rejoice when I see someone better although it is somewhat painful.”

I need to learn to find balance…and not waiver between perfectionism and escapism like a yo-yo. Coz when I switch to escapism mode I become terrible. The challenges become giant mountains and I plunge into despair. I panic, and then I tell myself to accept defeat and give up trying. Not just in the academic sense…but in every aspect.

And I will have to trust God with my future.

Yeah…Singapore’s alright. After all….it’s 3 weeks to the June hols! We will surely survive.=D

Sigh, self deception.