I ponteng-ed 3 math lectures already. And I didn’t pass up the assignment which is 2% of my A level grade. Because I didn’t do it. Because I didn’t know how to do it. Because I was too tired to try. Something about eigenvectors. If I’m planning to go for lecture on Monday I need to print the notes.

I am tired. Nonono, you haven’t understood yet. I am really tired. I am so tired I don’t know what to do. And I am getting more and more tired, which is really bad!

And the worst thing is, I don’t know how to make myself less tired. Apparently I can never get enough rest.

You know, sometimes I am convinced that I need to quit school because it’s killing me. Really really. I am too tired. Last year I just waited for each burnout episode to end and then I’d carry on with life, but I realize I am getting increasingly tired. I can’t even solve simple questions anymore because I’m too tired to think.

But then, I’m afraid that maybe I’m just, you know, exaggerating everything. And I do have the tendency to exaggerate mistakes and troubles. So maybe I’m just like every other school kid dreading school and hating homework.

OK la. I shall go eat dinner. If you’re gonna leave a comment that says jia you or something like that, you can save the effort, thanks. Because that is not what I need, or want, for that matter.

But um…I am not being 自暴自弃, just so you know. My parents are visiting me next week. Though I don’t exactly know why I asked them to come down and I don’t know what to say to them.

Ahh..I don’t know. I am very afraid and I don’t want to deal with the problem. I want my friends to know, but then I don’t want them to know as well. Which makes it hard to decide whether to post or not. Haha. I don’t usually call people up when I need to talk to someone because I don’t know how to start.

But for now, I’m okay. So don’t worry. And don’t bug me. Doesn’t mean I don’t want people to care but…please don’t bug me. Please.