I discovered my passion.

Its not sports, although team sports give me a high and I’ve been looking for people to play regularly with me (without success). Its not reading, although reading is pleasurable enough. I think I want to be a teacher, but no its not teaching. Its not even writing and dancing–my constant loves.

My passion is….*drum roll*…

Achieving.

Accomplishing goals. Attaining success. Beating the competition. Gaining recognition in a million ways.

I find it completely sad. Especially because I have identified this drive in me before…and it hasn’t left me.

It shows in every single thing I do. I only love doing things when I can do them well.

It leads no where.

I need to change. I long for change.

When will all of this be past tense?

p/s: I found this website on rest. There is so much truth in it that spoke to me. Even if you’re busy I hope you can read through everything. Especially you Christians who like to give me advice, please read the whole website, not just the rest part. Wrong advice only worsens things.