I have been going for counselling every week. It’s not easy to find a counsellor whom you feel comfortable with, and I’m really fortunate to have Charmaine in school. She is like a friend, and sometimes I just enjoy sitting in her room quietly.
She is a one of the best listeners I’ve come across, but there are things she asks me to do as well. For example, we repeat these sentences over and over:
- I have permission to rest.
- I have permission to feel angry, to feel sad, to feel frustrated.
- I have permission to make mistakes.
- I am loved by God.
- I am loved no matter what, even if I make mistakes.
- I don’t need to compare myself to others.
- I can take good care of myself. I can rest sufficiently.
- If I need more rest than others, I can rest more.
- I can make good decisions independent of others’ opinions.
- I do not need to meet others’ expectations.
- I can enjoy what I am doing.
- I do not need to feel guilt.
- I have permission to feel angry.
- I have permission to feel sad.
It’s therapeutic. Redecision therapy, she told me. (I’m a bit skeptical about all this behaviour modification methods but…dunno la. Amusing.)
By the way, I don’t think my need for counselling diminishes me as a person in any way. Just like how a sick person goes to see a doctor, I go for my sessions. They are beneficial, and it’s nothing to be ashamed about. So if you ever do need help, don’t be afraid to get it.