At my very core, I am still as sad as ever. I can feel it, the clenching of my stomach, the strange sourness, the tensed shoulders. The bleakness of everything around, like a cup of cold, bland coffee. The occassional cheeriness is false and short-lived, like sticking that cup of coffee into the microwave oven then gulping it down so that the heat numbs your tastebuds.

*   *   *

OK I’ll cut the whining out. Ever heard of sadness being channelled into creative energy? Haa.

*   *   *

To a dear person who suspects spreading yourself out on the floor can cure unhappiness,

Are you back from your little tour today? Hope things are fine with you. You can tell that this is one of my friendlier, more generous moments, as I am usually flippant or snappy when I reply your smses. I just…want to be left alone sometimes. Sorry.

*   *   *

I had a good time with you today Shi Min. Thank you for luring the hermit out of the house.

Sigh, as if she’ll read this. I’m just trying to glaze over my current reclusive (and sedentary) (oh and sad) life.