I got rejected by NTU. Not exactly a surprise.
One by one my friends are getting accepted into universities, the way good apples get picked off a tree. You know what I feel like? I feel like the small shriveled apple, hidden behind thick folliage, frowned upon, forgotten.
Finally, I get a taste of my own medicine. Who was the one who once said she wished she could just flop her exams and NOT CARE for once? Back then the consequences seemed far away, surreal. Now they loom overhead like dark clouds.
Anyhow, I am going back to study in a month, because I don’t see how lounging around for another half a year will help me. (Funny how time can distort your perception of things so radically.) But this time, I will be studying on family money. Hard-earned money.
I feel wobbly. I don’t know if I’m up to it. I have to be, but I don’t know if I can be. And the wheels of my mind go round and round, with Philippians 4:13 trailing along behind.