When things don’t go the way I want them to, it is all too easy to retreat into a world of my own. I become like a taut piece of rubberband, ready to snap any moment at any thing that stresses me in the slightest way.
Last week, we had this assignment to produce a video on miscommunication for our Communications: Rhetoric and Reasoning (CRR) class. So I spent two full days with my group shooting several takes for a 4 minute video. To me, the proportion of time spent is…ridiculous.
To make things worse, I felt that many of my ideas were not accepted, there were clashes here and there, and I felt like a useless extra finger to them. I was so glad when the shooting was done, I didn’t want to go back to it anymore; but guess what, 2 days later my groupmate told me that the files were all corrupted and we have to reshoot the WHOLE THING!
I nearly went mad with fury. At what exactly, I’m not sure. At the need to work with the group again. At their perfectionistic tendencies. At all the effort gone to waste. At my inability to control my emotions. And I got mad about getting mad!
This went on until I picked up Max’s book lying around on his office table. As I flipped through the pages, I was quieted by a sense of awe. It’s not about me. How could I so easily lose sight of the larger picture of things, and forget that I exist to glorify my Maker?
Last night, I also met a pastor who is faithfully pastoring her church in Mongolia although her husband died 3 years ago when they were ministering in North Korea. No one knows why he died, but poison was found in his body. Where does a woman find strength to rise up from such agony to pastor a church left behind, not to mention raise three young daughters, the youngest one a mere 1-year-old at that time?
All over the world people are putting aside their selfish desires and overcoming odds to serve the living God.
Suddenly I could see my world with a new perspective that was a whole lot LARGER than before. My problem seemed so puny in comparison.
So I cried out to God to help me with my frustrated emotions so that I could reflect Him even while working on my project. When my priorities changed, I realized, so did my feelings.
My rubberband went from taut to loose, and I knew I became a little more elastic that day.