It’s been one of the roughest weeks I’ve had this semester.Β  The snowball has hit me. πŸ™‚ And so, it’s been long days in bed and lots of TV and everything else, I have to either bribe or threaten myself to do it. πŸ™‚

I am slightly moody because I am going to miss my friends…just when I am settling down nicely, I have decided to uproot myself and go to Australia. Haha. And I don’t find Friends with a big F easily.

Friends that I can totally let my guard down=not many.

Friends that I can totally let my guard down and happen to be collegemates=three, maybe?

Friends that I can totally let my guard down, happen to be collegemates, and talk to me not only when we’re sitting next to each other in class=one.

I forgot what day it was, but my internet got cut, and whenever I go for days without internet, I am sure to receive text messages from Elaine. Her text message arrived around 6am while I was watching Gossip Girl, and 2 hours later we were having breakfast. I’ll miss going out with Elaine, because whenever we eat together, I never want it to end. We can sit for hours. And we did sit for hours that very morning because the rain never stopped…and in the end, exasperated, we shared one teeny umbrella and walked home all the way from somewhere near McDonalds. That’s like…250m? I don’t know. Enough to get me and my laptop drenched. I was howling all the way back, and she was laughing, because she was holding MY umbrella.

I like it because we have enough space. She has her circle,Β  I have my circle, and even when we don’t have circles lol, I never ever feel obliged to do anything for her. I like it that we can say funny, ridiculous, and nasty things to each other, and that she never gets all mushy.

I can’t even write a sweet elegant piece about her because that’s not what our friendship is about….oh and I’m not in a good mood to write. See the point is we always save our niceties.

It’s just that for a long time I’ve never really built a friendship that made me feel like a normal teenager. Sure I have lots of friends to talk about many different things…but sometimes I can’t help feeling my frienships are too adult or that I have to make an effort to step into their world or just too formal or superficial. I wanted someone naughty and funny and honest and different and WELL I’LL JUST MISS THAT FROM ELAINE. SHEESH.

Elaine I know you hate red roses (guys take note), so here’s a basket of your favourite flowers. Thank you for making the effort to know me before, thank you for seeing me. You’re beautiful and special like them.

And I don’t want to nag but remember OK, you need to discover God. Bah.