I’ve been wrestling with a lot of uncertainties lately, and I don’t just mean in terms of what I’m going to do next. A lot of things I was once absolutely sure of – I’m not anymore. The more of life/people I encounter, the more I realize there’s an overwhelming amount of things I don’t know. It’s very scary, very unsettling, yet exciting, I suppose.
Sitting outside my exam hall today (completing my degree is UNREAL), I decided to jot down a list of what I still know:
1. The best way to be joyful is to give, share, love. And receive.
2. Tough times come. Struggle through them and don’t be too worried – focus on the aspects of life that are still going well.
3. Hope is a powerful, powerful thing.
4. Cynicism and despair are equally powerful rivals to hope. They creep into good things and take them apart, destroying the best of life.
5. Learning keeps life fresh and exciting.
6. People are vastly different – the sum of their life experiences. Don’t assume or judge too much. Accept.
7. I do not govern the universe. There are many things I cannot control.
8. I want different things at different points of life. It’s OK to change pursuits.
9. The physical and spiritual are intrinsically linked. Exercise both.
10. The reality of God is lost when we construct Intellectual arguments that stem from negative life experiences and broken hearts.
What I think of myself at 22:
1. I am socially inept.
2. I am a potent (dangerous?) blend of fear of the unknown and relentless curiosity.
3. I have to grow so much as a person.
4. I love teaching, fixing problems, and being productive. I like to contribute. I like helping people. But I also dislike not seeing instant results – what does that say about me?
5. I want to care less about what people think. I take life too seriously.
6. I don’t want to bury or forget my creative side. I’ve all these skill sets I can harness.
7. I am a fast learner.
8. I have led an incredibly fortunate life and I am very, very grateful.
9. I am frustrated by contradictions and hypocrisy. Especially that which I see in myself.
10. I struggle with many aspects of faith quite a bit, but I have chosen to keep responding to God, and I will actively renew my mind and meditate on what is good.