An early morning Psalm.
You see me cowering.
You see the pattern of injustice in the world I know: the shiny promises of love and acceptance – broken in every failure to achieve and please.
The story plays out over and over…
When I saw unacceptable weakness and the imperative to try harder, you saw with eyes of kindness my fragility and helplessness.
You saw that I desperately wanted to please You, and you had compassion.
You see me struggle. You saw the invisible prison I am only beginning to see.
What an outrage!
I fight against the prison locks, but each time I break one another lock appears.
A vicious entrapment, a losing battle.
As I languished in the only way I knew how to live, you gave me eyes to see a glimpse of something better. Could there be a glorious hope of grace? How does that look like?
You gave me strength and a voice to cry out.
You marched in with clanging keys to unlock the prison doors, with furious saws to break bars of bronze…while I marvelled at the possibility that deliverance was not my duty. (How, how could I have not known that? Why did no one teach me?)
You deliver me from my entrapment! You avenge.
You see the invasion of the locusts and had pity on me. You avenge.
You restore to me the years the swarming locusts ate. You avenge!
You the jealous God of Joel are furious on my behalf. You AVENGE!
You send the early rain for my vindication; with wine, grain and oil.
My vats overflow…again.
Behold, the day of the Lord is great and very awesome!
The weak says, “I am a warrior.”
Indeed, you are powerful, you who execute your word. You…who…avenge…
You, are the lifter of my head.
You humble me through the fires and restore my dignity.
You see me – and I am no longer the apple hidden behind the leaves, no longer invisible, insignificant. You say I will never again be put to shame.
I am no longer desolate.
Because of you I stand tall, bold and beautiful. My mane shimmers in the sun.