I had a quiet day off today. I did some painting, happy that I’ve made progress with my strokes. My husband told me he’d ordered a Christmas present for me. What a nice surprise. It’s so nice to be loved.
If this time last year I’d been asked to paint a picture of what my 2016 would look like, I couldn’t have painted my life today.
In some ways, that’s how bizarre this past year has been.
After spending most of 2015 trying to manoeuvre a career change, it’s hard to describe the mental contrast between that, and having a role in a thriving real estate company this year.
So much of the past 5 years has been disruption after disruption that it’s hard to look back & draw from any fond traditions or memories. I stopped celebrating my birthday years ago, and all Chinese New Years and Christmases since then have been a blur.
For a long time, so much within myself was consumed with an awareness of problems. I was so geared towards survival, that it was hard to resonate with much else except helping others in worse situations. I was a nervous wreck within me, yet my experiences shaped me with a deep self-defence instinct to steel myself against any weakness within in order to carry on.
Being with Chris this year has slowly helped me let my guard down, helped me welcome happy things back into my life: good food, music, art…
On that note, a year ago, I couldn’t have seen that I would be married, & definitely not that I’d have a five year old stepson!
Suffice to say it’s been a huge, challenging transition, but also strange, even, to discover & rediscover the good things in life I’ve forgotten one can have in a family!
My life is richer for the journey of learning to trust & share & grow, of overcoming challenges together, learning to love & be loved…
…and the unexpected joys & surprises, like having a clumsily wrapped present under the tree from my stepson that I can’t wait to tear open on Christmas Day.